March 19th, life as I knew it, changed. My employer sent my team and I home to officially start the Work From Home process. Two months later, we’re still here and I’m not sure when we will return to office. Throughout these months, I’ve experienced highs and lows. Having to deal with bursts of productivity, then none at all, struggling to keep a sleep routine, having random video calls and meetings, waking up to messages about assignments due the same day and the list goes on. All while, constantly being reminded that the world is in a pandemic. A few Fridays ago, I was having a really off day. The feeling just came out of no where and coincidentally, I found myself hungry. But instead of going right into the kitchen to look for food, I kept saying, “No, Derencia, you have to finish this first before you can eat.” I literally, prioritized my job, before my basic human needs. It was only after speaking with one of my friends and she said, “You’re not simply working from home, you’re working THROUGH a pandemic”, I realized that I had to get myself together.
I have been putting this off for as long as I could. I just didn’t want anything Corona related on my blog. However, I realized that this is something that we are all facing and I’m in a better space to actually talk about it now. A few weeks ago, I was in a rut and just couldn’t make sense of any of this. Everyday, I caught myself in a “I can’t believe this is real life” game. I sympathize with the people this is affecting the most. The persons with underlying conditions, the elderly, the ones in unfortunate living conditions, the essential workers and the people who were already living paycheck to paycheck and now don’t know where their money is coming from. We are all living in this pandemic and a little compassion and grace, can go a long way.
This isn’t my usual kind of post, but I felt like it was timely. With all the things that happened in January, I wanted to give you (see: myself) the extra push to keep following your dreams and living your best life. All while taking the necessary steps to practicing self care and choosing you always. I know we’ve all seen and probably even heard that, the world is ending and these are the signs. While, this may or may not be true, it did get me thinking. These past few days, I struggled with dealing with emotions of loss, tragedy and even questioned a few times, “What’s the point of all this?” I saw a tweet though that resonated with me and read it over and over again. I spoke with my mom and friends, watched Grace and Frankie, listened to inspirational music and read a few scriptures. A week later, the dark cloud is starting to move away. But honestly, if I don’t take care of me, who will? Time may be running out or I may have a whole lot of time left. We don’t know, but in the meantime, here’s how you can actively choose you and practice self care: